Hmmm...where to begin? I think my blog title says it all. Yesterday was a VERY hard day for me. I think it is the first time this year I have actually cried...really cried. But before I get into the story, let me preface this by saying that I LOVE my Branch and especially my Branch President. He is an amazing man and he has helped me get through some very tough times the last year or so. I respect him and I value his opinion. However, he said something yesterday that completely stunned me and stopped me in my tracks. I may have stopped breathing and I am pretty sure my heart stopped beating for a few seconds. I felt defeated.
Perhaps this isn't the time or the place to bring this up, but maybe if you hear my story you can help me with my dilemma. Here goes:
So, you all know that I made some resolutions this year. And what is the first item on my resolution list? It is to go through the temple this year. Looking back there is a reason I put that 
as the first item on my list. It is important to me. It has taken me 28 years to decide that this is the right thing for me to do and the decision finally feels good. I am very happy about it. To make a long story short, the Nauvoo temple is very special to me and my family, so I have always told myself that I would either get married in that temple or get my endowments out in that temple. You and I both know that I am not getting married anytime soon, and the chances of marrying someone who lives near Nauvoo is pretty slim. So I decided to get my endowments out there. Because the temple is not close, I knew going there would require some time and financial preparation. But more than anything, I want my family to be there with me. So I decided that it would be a fun birthday present to give myself. And since my birthday is in June, it's far enough in advance that people can prepare for it. I thought it was the perfect plan. Don't you agree?
as the first item on my list. It is important to me. It has taken me 28 years to decide that this is the right thing for me to do and the decision finally feels good. I am very happy about it. To make a long story short, the Nauvoo temple is very special to me and my family, so I have always told myself that I would either get married in that temple or get my endowments out in that temple. You and I both know that I am not getting married anytime soon, and the chances of marrying someone who lives near Nauvoo is pretty slim. So I decided to get my endowments out there. Because the temple is not close, I knew going there would require some time and financial preparation. But more than anything, I want my family to be there with me. So I decided that it would be a fun birthday present to give myself. And since my birthday is in June, it's far enough in advance that people can prepare for it. I thought it was the perfect plan. Don't you agree?
Well, apparently my Branch President doesn't think so. He told me yesterday that I should go through the temple sooner. He said I should go through here and go to the temple a few times, and then the family can go on vacation to Nauvoo and go to the temple together in June. What?! I was stunned! I am serious when I say that my heart stopped beating. His comments took my breath away and I wanted to burst into tears right there. Did he not realize that I had been dreaming about this? Did he not realize how special Nauvoo is to me? I wanted this so bad! Or atleast that is what I thought yesterday...I thought that maybe I could move up my Nauvoo trip and go closer to March. But then I decided to talk to my very wise mother. She reminded me of this talk, and more importantly the section that talks about the tulips in Holland. I vaguely remembered the talk and just read it again and it gave me a lot of comfort. My mom and I talked about other options and all day long I thought about this other option. You see, there is a temple here in AZ that I could go to. There is just one problem, the temple really means nothing to me! I know that is horrible to say and I will probably be struck down for saying that, but I kind of want my first temple experience to be special. Honestly, it would be special whichever temple you went to...but I wanted it to be in a temple that meant something to me...like the Nauvoo temple. But then my mom and I talked about another temple, that is equally 
special...and that is the Salt Lake Temple. Everyone in my family went through that temple to get their endowments out, all of my family members got married in that temple, and that was the temple I always went to when I lived in Utah. I started thinking about how much easier it would be to go through the Salt Lake Temple. All of my Utah girls could be there, my family who lives in Utah could be there and it would not cause a financial burden, and I could more easily plan around my sis-in-law's baby delivery. It just makes more sense. That way, I am not waiting until June and it is so much more convenient for me and everyone involved. What do you think?
special...and that is the Salt Lake Temple. Everyone in my family went through that temple to get their endowments out, all of my family members got married in that temple, and that was the temple I always went to when I lived in Utah. I started thinking about how much easier it would be to go through the Salt Lake Temple. All of my Utah girls could be there, my family who lives in Utah could be there and it would not cause a financial burden, and I could more easily plan around my sis-in-law's baby delivery. It just makes more sense. That way, I am not waiting until June and it is so much more convenient for me and everyone involved. What do you think?
Of course I will always wish I could have gone through the Nauvoo temple, but perhaps going through the Salt Lake temple will be the better choice...so much better than I could have imagined. Maybe when all is said and done and I have had a chance to catch my breath I will begin to see the tulips. "If I spend my life mourning the fact that [I] didn't get to [Nauvoo], [I] may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things about [Salt Lake]."I haven't exactly made my decision yet...but I did make a very tearful plea to the Big Man last night. The more I think about Salt Lake and the more I write this blog, I feel peace. I think I will be guided in the right direction. I have no doubt that my prayer will be answered and if I act on my promptings I will not be lead astray.
So, blogging friends, what do you think? I will let you know when I make my decision...
14 comments:
I started crying when you started writing about the Salt Lake temple because I knew that meant I could be there with you! I know how much the other temple means to you but once you go through you will know that it is not where it is that matters but what you learn within its walls. If you do decide to go to Salt Lake I will be there and I can't wait. If you go to another temple then I know you will have made the right choice and I will be there in spirit with you!
I don't think you will regret going through Salt Lake VS Nauvoo. Although I agree, there is something special about Nauvoo to you, once you've gone though, you'll notice that it doesn't matter which temple you go though. Now, that's the only thing you can control about the process, so obviously it's a big deal, but I think you'll be happier having your family there in Salt Lake, than chancing it with Nauvoo! Good luck!!
HMMMM...i'm torn on this one...as you may know...i have a personal connection with Nauvoo so I can see the appeal in going through there...I did...and it was lovely. But, I have always thought that the random couples that come from far off lands to get married or go through the temple for the first time in Nauvoo were ridiculous since for a lot of them there were temples right down the street (or at least a lot closer than Nauvoo was) BUT...I know you're connection to Nauvoo is important so I completly see why you would want to go there. I didn't read the 'tulip' talk so I don't ahve any inspiration from that, but I think it is sort of silly for your Bishop to tell you where to go through. (at least yours didn't tell you 'you're getting old and probably not getting married, so how about you go through the temple' like mine did. not that i regret it...but it was still a little harsh) anyway..i haven't been any help i know, and since i'm writing a novel i'll just stop. But, let me close by saying that if you went through Mesa I could be there!! Even though I know I'm the bottom of the 'cool people to invite to the temple with me' list...
I say you should still go to Nauvoo. Not that I think you should fight the (Big)man, but since this is such a big deal for you, I think if you don't, you'll always wish you had.
But that's just me.
I would have come to Arizona, but really I couldn't have swung it to Nauvoo. I am so on this with you. But seriously, if you go through the Salt Lake temple it will mean something to you. That peace that you are feeling is priceless and you can't dispute that. I love you and I am so happy that maybe I get to be there here in salt lake!
Well, I think it is pretty cool that your bishop thinks you are ready NOW and that you don't have to wait until June. I my mind it speaks volumes to where you're at in your life.
I totally get your connection to Nauvoo. You were there!!!! You experienced it from it's infancy through to the dedication. Your family has a strong tie with it!!!! That being said, I totally agree with Amy. It's about what goes on inside that matters AND the fact that you're going. When I decided to receive my endowments all I really cared about was having the people I love around me. (if you went to SL you'd be amongst your family AND friends)
Good luck with your decision. Whatever it is....it will be the right one!!!!!!
Whatever you decide, let me know! I think you have to go with your heart on this one. Kevin and I are going to Nauvoo this summer (Or sometime) so if you go there we will come, or if you do it SLC I will come too!! (Since I am actually inviting myself!) Good luck on your decision. I'll be praying for you :)
PS I agree with Tia, it says a lot for him to say you need to go sooner. Most people he would want them to wait or prepare longer :) That's got to make you feel good :)
do whatever you feel is right. you'll make the right decision. of course, we'd love to be able to be there, but don't worry about pleasing everyone else. This is for YOU!
i think either way - you'll love having gone through the temple. it's such an ASESOME experience. i went to the JR temple my first time and i don't remember much from that first trip - except that a lot of friends and family were there and i loved seeing them all in white.
good luck with your decision!
Wherever you go Alayna it will truly be one of the best experiences of your life and such a peaceful one and you will never once regret any of it. I am so very excited for you, that being said, what is so awesome about being able to choose where to go is that it doesn't matter in the end and look how lucky we are to be surrounded by so many temples to choose from. I know this is a desicion for you and the Lord and you will be answered with peace of mind about it. I would love to be there with you if you do choose Salt Lake, I love you so much Layns and I am so proud of you for making this wonderful decision.
I think you will be way happy you decided to go through the Salt Lake temple!
For more reasons than you could imagine now I'm sure, but also for the simple fact of getting to go sooner.
Good luck and enjoy the temple when you go!! :)
Bishops are interesting people and often I think we don't realize how right they are about things until long after the advice is given (years sometimes.) It is hard to hear things we dont want to hear, especially when we think that we have already made the right decision.
I think two things, 1. The bishop has a lot of insight (I dont know him at all,but most bishops do) and he must know that receiving your endowments before June is something that will impact your life in ways that you dont yet understand. Also having the ability to go to the temple to receive answers to lifes many questions, may be the one thing that helps you get through something that (heaven forbid) you may have to face before June.
And 2, I think that the lord knows your heart and he knows how important Nauvoo is to you and if that is what is right he will let you know that. And if Nauvoo is right and the bishop is also right about you needing to go sooner then the lord will prepare a way for it to happen in Nauvoo.
Now, selfishly I hope the answer is Salt Lake because many of us who love you will be able to be there with you. However, I am excited for you no matter where it happens and I know that, like so many others have already said, it isnt about where it happens its about what happens, and once its done you will realize that you will NOT EVER regret when or where it happened.
Love you!!
Well after reading this and writing a previous comment, I started really thinking some more I had to come back and share more of my thoughts, and I actually was thinking the same thing Staci said. There may be a very important reason for your need to go sooner than June, so whatever the case the lord will guide you and you will be led to what he has prepared for you in his time. Love you Layns.
Focus on the endowment, and not the location, then you'll be able to decide. After you go through you'll realize why. By the way, I did my endowmwnt at the Jordan River Temple, not Salt Lake, and the only thing that I remember is the endowment itself, not the building. In the big picture of things its the covenants that matter.
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