oh, ya know...

I have been a little out of the blogging world lately. It's not that I don't have a good life or don't have made up stories I could tell you. It just seems like everyone is anti-blogging these days. Like blogging has worn out it's welcome. Either that or people just are too busy with life. But, for those of you who like blog stalking me and reading about my nonsense, I will indulge you.

My life these days consists of working, fulfilling my church callings, playing with friends, and watching football...but not necessarily in that order (sadly, sometimes friends take a back seat to football).

WORKING:

I'm not gonna lie, work has been pretty boring lately. On Mondays I'm busy for a few hours and then the rest of the week I have to find ways to entertain myself. I recently discovered Pinterest and have planned out every single one of my Christmas gifts for this year because of it. It's gonna be a cheap Christmas folks! Haha. When I am not playing on Facebook or looking at crafty things on Pinterest, I can usually be found taking strange pictures of myself, that I then forward on to my friends. This was one of my favorites:

FULFILLING MY CHURCH CALLINGS:

For the last few months I have had the calling of Relief Society Activities Leader. I get to plan monthly activities for the women in my church. It's a lot of fun and right up my alley since I love planning parties and doing crafty things. However, this last week I got a new calling. But before I divulge, let me share with you a little fun tidbit. The other week for Family Home Evening we had a talent show, but not like a singing and dancing type of talent show...the strange and unusual type of talent show. A guy did a beat box rendition of Book of Mormon Stories, one girl could replicate the sound a fire alarm makes, etc. And then this guy got up (he is not in my Branch so I am not sure how he got involved) and he has a talent of balancing things on his chin. Like so:

Yes, that is a ladder and a wheel barrel. He balanced a bike, a table, an ironing board and even a kitchen sink! It was amazing! But my question is this. How do people discover that they have this talent?? I honestly haven't tried balancing anything on my chin, but I think I'm going to try it when I get home. I am hoping that I have a super strange talent just waiting to be uncovered. And when I find it, I will let you know!

Now, onto my new calling. Are you ready? It's a good one! I just got called to be the First Counselor in the Relief Society Presidency (a women's organization in our church). Yikes, right?! I am still in shock. When I first got the call I was super excited. However, it didn't take long for reality to sink it. It's a big responsibility, but definitely one that I need right now. In all honesty, I feel this is a huge answer to prayer. I have been so consumed in self-pity and stuck in this silly "transitional" rut. This is the Lord's way of showing me that I need to think about others and get over myself. That I need to live in the present and stop preparing for something that is quite a ways off. I am excited and humbled.

PLAYING WITH FRIENDS:

I have good friends. I am lucky. For a while there, while going through my transitions phase, I kind of pushed friends away. But the last few weeks I have been eating up the moments I get to play with my girls and/or boys. Mostly girls. Just to state the obvious. And since I am so poor, the friends and I don't really do anything. We just hang out and talk about boys (usually a bitter subject), or watch tv and movies. When my roomie moved out I cancelled my cable, and I can't even tell you how much life sucks when you can't see what's going on in the world! But I am grateful for my pal Daja, because just when I was about to shoot myself from boredom, she gave me her "Vampire Diaries: Season One" collection. And I fell in love. I finished seasons one and two, and now we have weekly dates to watch the latest episodes on tv together. In all honesty, I don't really love the show. But when you get to look at things like this:it makes it all worthwhile. And I know vampires aren't real, but if I was approached by a vampire that looked like the men above, I would totally let them bite me.

FOOTBALL:

Mmmm mmmm goooood!!!!! I have always been a huge football fan, but for some reason this year I am obsessed! I downloaded the ESPN app on my phone and have even resorted to checking football scores DURING church! Ahhh!!! I don't know why, but I think about football a lot these days. I happened to be watching a BYU game a few weeks ago when I noticed that my Cougars were playing my Alma Mater Utah State Aggies on September 30th. I immediately called my mother and begged her to go to the game with me. She wouldn't. I realized that the game happened to be the same weekend as our church's General Conference. I had a friend express interest in going up to Utah to go to a missionary reunion and possibly to see Conference too. I jumped on the opportunity. Not to be a good girl and go to Conference, but to see a football game. Yes, I am obsessed. To make a long story short, I am flying up to Utah in 2 days...to go to the football game. And here's the proof:I am thrilled! And throw in the fact that I am going up with two fun girls and get to see my UT friends and family, life just can't get better!

And finally, I think you deserve to know that I am no longer a blonde. I took the plunge and allowed my friend to put "permanent" color in my hair. Ahh!!! Every time I have colored my hair I will only allow the temporary color so that it will wash out in a few weeks. Well, the last time I did that I swear the color only lasted 2 weeks...and it pissed me off. Not this time! My hair is gonna be brown for a while. But you know what, I love it! And that's really all that matters.
{Now my eyebrows match}

ABCs of Alayna

Age: thirty (sigh)
Bed size: queen
Chore you hate: mopping the floor
Dessert: cheesecake (more specifically dulce de leche cheesecake)
Essential start of the day: going back to bed after i take a shower. it's true.
Favorite color: pink. obvi.
Gold or Silver: silver
Height: my license says 5'6" but i am probably closer to 5'5.5"
Instruments you play: piano, kazzoo and i can even play a couple of songs on the guitar
Job Title: at one point i was given the title of "assistant office manager" but i give myself the title "go-to-girl." the world would probably call me customer service or international account representative.
Kids: are great. i don't have any, but i sure do love the ones that my brothers and their wives created.
Live: mesa, az
Mom's name: marla
Nickname: laynze, alaynie, layners, noz, tof jr., haboobie, imappropriate, etc.
Overnight hospital stays: none that i can think of
Pet peeve: the sound people make when they chew with their mouth open
Quote from a movie: "i don't know...stuff."
Right or left handed: right
Siblings: two older brothers...that are amazing!
Time you wake up: 6:42 most days, but 6:15 when i need to get to work on time or 7:00 on tuesday mornings.
Underwear: under there.
Vegetables you dislike: radishes
What makes you late: that darn snooze button and/or facebook
X-rays you've had done: teeth and probably my elbow
Yummy food you make: i make a mean bowl of honey bunches of oats, and a really good candy cane cake around christmas time
Zoo animal: koala

an engaging tale

Hi. My name is Alayna.And I am otherwise engaged.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Yeah right!!!

Wasn't it just a few days ago that I was posting about my hopeless romantic life? And do you honestly think I would look that atrocious if I thought I was getting engaged that night? Let me tell you a little story about the above picture. It's another good one...

That boy is my pal Jay (aka Jayfred, Freddy or Frederick). We like to flirt with each other...a lot. In fact, my friends have nicknamed us Ajayna. But we are just flirting friends. Nothing more. My friends made him promise that if we were not married when we were 30, that we would get married. Well...he's not 30 yet. And what's even funnier is that he thinks I'm only 27. He's a special boy...

Anyway, it was just a lazy Sunday. I hadn't showered and/or gotten dressed all day. Jay called out of the blue and we chatted for a minute, but I had to go because I had another phone call to make. He calls about an hour later asking me what I was doing and if I had gotten dressed yet. Um, nope! He then tells me that he is outside my house and that we are going to visit some friends. Gee, thanks for the warning. So I hurry and get dressed, put on a little makeup and try to make my hair look presentable. We get in his truck and drive to see our married friends, Cara and Justin.

To make a long story short, we were talking about how Jay randomly texts my mother. Strange, I know. My friends thought it would be funny if Jay sent my mom a Hey Tell (a walkie talkie type app on the iPhone) asking for my hand in marriage. So he did...kind of. Immediately Cara posts on Facebook, congratulating me on my engagement.

Then, the scheming begins.

We talked about how funny it would be to change my relationship status to engaged. I couldn't back down from a dare so I did it. Immediately people started congratulating me. We were dying...but I was feeling guilty at the same time. Then someone tosses out the idea of a picture. You have to understand that Jay is scared of commitment, and if he thinks a girl likes him (or that someone thinks he is dating someone that he isn't) he shuts down. So you have to imagine my shock when he willingly posed for this picture. I imagined that we would just stand next to each and I would flash my ring (aka Cara's wedding ring), but he had other, more legit plans in mind. We did the arms around each other, holding hands type of picture. Again, very shocking! So, once the picture was taken (on his phone so he had control of where it went) we were once again shocked when he decided that we could all get the photo texted to us. Did he really think we wouldn't put it on Facebook at that point? Well we did (and I think he secretly wanted it that way). Now Facebook shows that I am engaged, AND I have a picture to prove that it's true. Bwahaha!

The comments are adding up. People that I haven't seen for years are so excited for me, commenting on the ring and the fun of planning a wedding. Cousins are commenting, my parents are commenting (stating that they did not give permission), and all the while I was feeling guilty. Then my mother called, slightly horrified that she would get phone calls from family members and have to let them know that I am just really immature for my age and not in fact engaged. I told her that I would erase the post.

And that's about the time my phone was taken away from me. I was told that I could have my phone back at 10 to erase the damage. My friends are laughing hysterically reading all the comments that are buzzing in. Yes, I think it's funny, but more than anything I was just nervous. I even resorted to biting my nails. It was literally making me feel sick inside. So after much coaxing, I convinced my friends to change the deleting time to 9:30. And so it was. Pictures were erased and my relationship status was back to normal.

When all was said and done, many people saw the stuff on Facebook, but I don't think anyone believed it. I mean, it is ME we are talking about. The girl who doesn't date. But it was fun while it lasted. And if nothing else, I've got some blackmail. Haha.

After our little visit with friends, Jay and I headed back to my house to make dinner and hang out some more. We pulled up in my driveway and I see this gigantic bug on my garage. It looked like a dragonfly from far away (to give you a size visual) but as I got closer I realized that I was mistaken. This is what I saw:

Creepy, right? I screamed and probably said a naughty word. I was grateful that Jay was with me because I just cowered behind his back and said, "Will you take care of that, please?" And he did. And now I have a silver dollar sized gut splatter on my garage. Next time he comes over I will make sure he takes care of that too. Haha.

You see, this is why I need a man. To kill the big scary animals.

And just as a side note, we discovered that the animal on my garage is called a Wind Scorpion Spider. Not a scorpion, but a spider. A very large spider that feasts on termites. I probably should have let him run wild through my house eating the termites, but alas, my heart got the best of me. And I am notorious for killing harmless animals that look scary. Remember my pet snake? Anyway, this is a better, more detailed picture of my newest murder victim:

{I don't really feel bad}

heart breaker

Hi. My name is Alayna. And I am a heart breaker.

Sometimes I wonder why things happen in life. But mostly, I just think that God has a sense of humor. And this year has been comical for me.

Wanna hear a story? It's a good one...

You've all heard my dating woes {or lack thereof}. And you all know that I have been trying my hand at the online dating thing. Well I will be the first to tell you that I am not a fan. I was skeptical to begin with...and now I'm even more so. To begin...I paid for a membership nearly 3 months ago, and until this last weekend NOTHING had happened. Sure, I sent flirts to lots of cuties and occasionally got a flirt and/or message back, but nothing too exciting. Flash forward to last weekend. I was working my butt off at Creative Escape when I check my email to see that I have gotten a flirt and message from the online dating site. I look at the message and it seems pretty promising. He's a bigger guy, kinda scruffy looking with an amazing smile. He just joined the church a few months ago and is looking for love. Aren't we all? So I messaged him back letting him know that I was interested. Things progressed from there. We messaged for a couple of days and he let me know that he had a past but that he was trying to change his life. He gave me his phone number and told me I could call. Being the old fashioned girl that I am did not call him...after all, that's a man's job to call the lady. After much consideration I gave him my phone number and told him he could call me.

I expected a phone call that night and did not get one. I was a little shocked since he seemed so anxious to talk to me before hand. The next day at work I get a text message from him asking for my name...because he had accidentally deleted the message with my name in it. Red flag number one. He asks if he can call me that night and I agree. I tell him I get off work at 5 so he says he'll call at 6.

I was so freaking nervous/excited to talk to him. I could not believe that this was happening. My mind raced thinking about how cool it would be if he was "the one" and how weird it would be to get married.

And then we talked on the phone.

For 3 1/2 hours.

He told me EVERYTHING. More information than I cared to know about someone I am just talking to for the first time. He asked me personal questions that I did not expect to hear until we had been dating a while...like how many kids I wanted and what I would name them. Honestly, it felt like he was planning our whole future together, and I hadn't even met him yet! After I finally got him off the phone my mind was racing. We had talked about going on a date next week (let me interject that he is a truck driver and was on the road when he called me...probably very lonely and anxious for a reason to come home) but I was a little concerned. I watched some Vampire Diaries to calm myself down and then went to bed.

The next morning I got a "good morning sunshine ;-)" text from him. Hmm. Not only am I NOT a fan of sideways smiley faces (and he used lots of them), I was just a little creeped out by the text. Then minutes later I got a friend request from him on Facebook. Wow. What in the world is going on? I felt overwhelmed. This guy was a quick mover. And I was not loving it.

He had said the night before that he was going to call me after work again. I kindly texted him and asked him if he could wait to call me until after 9. Heck, I was not gonna waste my cell phone minutes on him...especially when he likes talking for hours on end. I got a text back that said that he would call me then, but wondered if we could text in the meantime. Then he told me that he had put in his request for time home and that he would be back in AZ on Tuesday but they were trying to figure out a way to get him home sooner. He was just so excited to see me in person {insert sideways smiley face}.

And that's the moment I fell apart.

This boy was obsessed. The sickness I was feeling ever since the morning text message had multiplied.

After conversing with co-workers and my mother, I decided that I would put a stop to this...right then. So I sent him a text when I got home from work stating that this was all just too much, too soon and that I couldn't do it.

Then the text messages started.

He apologized that I was feeling that way and he didn't understand because he thought our phone call went so well and that we had so much in common. Pretty much, it felt like he was doing everything in his power to get me to respond so that we could keep texting and talking to each other. I ignored his messages the rest of the night. And I haven't heard from him since.

The second I sent the "I can't do this" text I felt so much relief. Sure, I feel bad that I hurt him. And he probably doesn't even realize that he was just too obsessive for me. But I feel better. And that's all that matters...

Blog friends, don't think this experience will stop me from trying! There is still hope for me! And you better believe that I went on that dating site today and sent flirts to more boys...

{one day my prince will come}

P.S. If your name is Michael and you want to date me, you better wait until next year...