an engaging tale

Hi. My name is Alayna.And I am otherwise engaged.

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Yeah right!!!

Wasn't it just a few days ago that I was posting about my hopeless romantic life? And do you honestly think I would look that atrocious if I thought I was getting engaged that night? Let me tell you a little story about the above picture. It's another good one...

That boy is my pal Jay (aka Jayfred, Freddy or Frederick). We like to flirt with each other...a lot. In fact, my friends have nicknamed us Ajayna. But we are just flirting friends. Nothing more. My friends made him promise that if we were not married when we were 30, that we would get married. Well...he's not 30 yet. And what's even funnier is that he thinks I'm only 27. He's a special boy...

Anyway, it was just a lazy Sunday. I hadn't showered and/or gotten dressed all day. Jay called out of the blue and we chatted for a minute, but I had to go because I had another phone call to make. He calls about an hour later asking me what I was doing and if I had gotten dressed yet. Um, nope! He then tells me that he is outside my house and that we are going to visit some friends. Gee, thanks for the warning. So I hurry and get dressed, put on a little makeup and try to make my hair look presentable. We get in his truck and drive to see our married friends, Cara and Justin.

To make a long story short, we were talking about how Jay randomly texts my mother. Strange, I know. My friends thought it would be funny if Jay sent my mom a Hey Tell (a walkie talkie type app on the iPhone) asking for my hand in marriage. So he did...kind of. Immediately Cara posts on Facebook, congratulating me on my engagement.

Then, the scheming begins.

We talked about how funny it would be to change my relationship status to engaged. I couldn't back down from a dare so I did it. Immediately people started congratulating me. We were dying...but I was feeling guilty at the same time. Then someone tosses out the idea of a picture. You have to understand that Jay is scared of commitment, and if he thinks a girl likes him (or that someone thinks he is dating someone that he isn't) he shuts down. So you have to imagine my shock when he willingly posed for this picture. I imagined that we would just stand next to each and I would flash my ring (aka Cara's wedding ring), but he had other, more legit plans in mind. We did the arms around each other, holding hands type of picture. Again, very shocking! So, once the picture was taken (on his phone so he had control of where it went) we were once again shocked when he decided that we could all get the photo texted to us. Did he really think we wouldn't put it on Facebook at that point? Well we did (and I think he secretly wanted it that way). Now Facebook shows that I am engaged, AND I have a picture to prove that it's true. Bwahaha!

The comments are adding up. People that I haven't seen for years are so excited for me, commenting on the ring and the fun of planning a wedding. Cousins are commenting, my parents are commenting (stating that they did not give permission), and all the while I was feeling guilty. Then my mother called, slightly horrified that she would get phone calls from family members and have to let them know that I am just really immature for my age and not in fact engaged. I told her that I would erase the post.

And that's about the time my phone was taken away from me. I was told that I could have my phone back at 10 to erase the damage. My friends are laughing hysterically reading all the comments that are buzzing in. Yes, I think it's funny, but more than anything I was just nervous. I even resorted to biting my nails. It was literally making me feel sick inside. So after much coaxing, I convinced my friends to change the deleting time to 9:30. And so it was. Pictures were erased and my relationship status was back to normal.

When all was said and done, many people saw the stuff on Facebook, but I don't think anyone believed it. I mean, it is ME we are talking about. The girl who doesn't date. But it was fun while it lasted. And if nothing else, I've got some blackmail. Haha.

After our little visit with friends, Jay and I headed back to my house to make dinner and hang out some more. We pulled up in my driveway and I see this gigantic bug on my garage. It looked like a dragonfly from far away (to give you a size visual) but as I got closer I realized that I was mistaken. This is what I saw:

Creepy, right? I screamed and probably said a naughty word. I was grateful that Jay was with me because I just cowered behind his back and said, "Will you take care of that, please?" And he did. And now I have a silver dollar sized gut splatter on my garage. Next time he comes over I will make sure he takes care of that too. Haha.

You see, this is why I need a man. To kill the big scary animals.

And just as a side note, we discovered that the animal on my garage is called a Wind Scorpion Spider. Not a scorpion, but a spider. A very large spider that feasts on termites. I probably should have let him run wild through my house eating the termites, but alas, my heart got the best of me. And I am notorious for killing harmless animals that look scary. Remember my pet snake? Anyway, this is a better, more detailed picture of my newest murder victim:

{I don't really feel bad}