Meth-Addict Mom Monday

It is no big surprise that I am my mom's number 1 fan. I adore her. But lately, she's kind of fallen off of her rocker. I hardly recognize her...literally. I will never forget this one time a few years ago when I was living at home and I was chatting with my mother dearest. I remember looking at her eyes but not being able to see past her wrinkles. It was then that I realized my mom was getting old...and I told her that. Surprise, surprise; she didn't really appreciate the comment. But you just have to realize the gravity of the statement I made to my mother, because it has forever changed her and turned her into something I never believed she would be: VAIN.

This first picture does not do justice to how comical the situation was, but before I tell the story just take a look:
If you can't tell, the sign my mom is holding says, "aging gracefully is overrated." It looks just like she is holding the sign very awkwardly and posing for a picture. What you don't see is this:

You see those freaking spots on my mom's arm? Picture those practically everywhere on her upper body (make-up works wonders). My dear mother was so upset with her "oldness" that she paid someone to remove her age spots. Seriously, she looks like a meth addict! I don't know which is worse...age spots or scabs. Needless to say, I haven't been in public with my mom for the last few weeks...

P.S. If I never post another blog again, you will know that my mom killed me after reading this...