Hilarious

Michael Phelps...in the beginning:

{enough said}

Just my luck

Do you ever feel like the odds are stacked against you? Well, that is how I feel today or actually for the last 16 or so hours. It all started last night when I decided to hard boil some eggs. This is a fairly simple task right? Apparently, if you are me, it is not. For some reason, every time I try to hard boil eggs atleast 2 of them crack open when placed into the boiling water. Yesterday was no different. I used my Paradise Bakery tongs to gently place the first two eggs in the water, and maybe I used a little too much pressure or maybe I just flat out dropped them into the water, but they exploded in an instant. So here I am, trying to get the explosions out of the water, and at the same time the water level is rising and starting to spill over the edge of the pot. What a disaster! The pot was removed from the stove, the stove was turned off and I had to rethink my hard boiling course of action. I decided that maybe I should put the eggs in the water while it was calm, and then add the heat to make it boil, at which point my 15 minute countdown would begin. And it worked much better. But this was not before I placed the pot back on the burner and the watery mess that was there before started sizzling. Is it is possible to burn water? If so, I’ve done it!

The sad thing is last night I had a dream (aka nightmare) about hard boiling eggs. I dreamed that I boiled my eggs for 15 minutes, and then when I went to crack them open, they were all jello-ish and not completely hardened. I had to throw them all away. Aaaahhh!!!

Not only are eggs my nemesis, but also this morning my scale was my nemesis. I freaking gained 1 lb today and that really irks me! I have been so good on my diet, not cheating once in the 52 days that I have been doing it. And the scale was just not in my favor today. Argh!

And finally, the disaster continues. I decided to curl my hair for the first time in many days today and my big fat neck got in the way. Yep, I burned myself. Now it looks like I have a big hickey on my neck (if only I could be so lucky). How embarrassing is that? Like I said, the odds are stacked against me today.

{HELP}

The good stuff

I got this email at work today from my good pal Joey. It is one of those really stupid getting to know your friends 2008 edition emails that I get about every 3 days. But, I thought you would all want to know every detail of my life, so I am posting it for your viewing pleasure. Just so you know, I filled in the answers this morning before posting this blog. Here it is:

1. What is your occupation right now? Go-to-girl grunt worker
2. What color are your socks right now? Invisible (not a fan of socks/shoes)

3. What are you listening to right now? The Mexican music in the warehouse blaring through the office
4. What was the last thing that you ate? Lime jello with a side of boullion
5. Can you drive a stick shift? Tried once, with no success
6. Last person you spoke to on the phone? My mom
7. Do you like the person who sent this to you? She’s taught me a lot about life…and I love her for it!
8. What is your favorite sport to watch on TV? Football
9. What is your favorite drink? On the diet: Crystal Light Pink Lemonade. Off the diet: Pepsi
10. Have you ever dyed your hair? Yes, and it was an unfortunate experience
11. Favorite food? Mexican or anything breakfast-like
12. What is the last movie you watched? About a Boy
13. Favorite day of the year? June 20th
14. How do you vent anger? Cry
15. What was your favorite toy as a child? Barbies or dolls
16. What is your favorite season? Spring anywhere that has seasons, but in AZ I love winter (if you can call it that)
17. Cherries or Blueberries? Neither, but probably cherries if I had to choose
18. Do you want your friends to e-mail you back? Doesn’t really apply to blogging, but I love getting emails and/or comments…
19. Who is the most likely to respond? My cute friends that read my blog
20. Who is least likely to respond? Those unfortunate few who have not yet discovered my blogging genius
21. Living arrangements? Livin’ it up in the townhouse with my roomie who is never home
22. When was the last time you cried? Sunday (strange, strange story)
23. What is on the floor of your closet? A disastrous mess!
24. Who is the friend you have had the longest that you are sending this to? Amy ToeToggleTarian Triple T Richins Seamons (Piller)
25. What did you do last night? Layed (is that how you spell it?) in my bed and watched About a Boy until I fell asleep
26. What are you most afraid of? Someone chunking next to me and me not being able to get away from it
27. Plain, cheese, or spicy hamburgers? Mmmmm…cheese
28. Favorite dog breed? Labs
29. Favorite day of the week? Saturday
30. How many states have you lived in? 3
31. Diamonds or pearls? Diamonds
32. What is your favorite flower? I don’t really even remember what they look like, but I always say my fave flower is a Columbine. But these days, I would be happy just to get flowers from anyone!

There it is folks. Did you learn something about me? Probably not! However, I do have another addition to this long winded blog. I have to tell you about my experience on Saturday (my favorite day of the week if you were paying attention). These days I like to take a little drive to Florence, AZ on Saturdays to visit my friend Pepe. When I left my house that morning my car seemed a little sluggish getting started. I thought it was strange, but in my excitement to leave didn't worry too much about it. Then after my little visit in Florence (30 minutes from my house and in the middle of nowhere) I tried starting my car and it wouldn't start!!! What the heck?! Of course I just started crying cause I don't know anything about cars and I didn't know who could help me. So I called my dear sweet brother Curtis, who quickly piled the kids in the minivan and came to my rescue. What a saint! I think it's like a 40 minute drive from his house. To make a long story short, my battery was toast and by no small miracle we happened to run into an auto shop and I was able to get a new battery. My car has run like a champ since then. So here's to you big brother: Thanks for saving me!!!

And now, about my Sunday strange crying incident (I can't believe I am going to share this). I was getting ready for bed and was staring at myself in the mirror in my bathroom. For some reason I was intrigued with my face and everything I saw in the mirror. I started thinking that I looked cute and was smiling at myself and thinking how happy I was that my appearance is changing and I am looking better. Then all of the sudden my eyes filled with tears and my chin started quivering. I was crying! And I had no idea why! I think it's because I realized just how pathetic my life is and it made me sad. And the fact that I am a woman with strange monthly emotions doesn't help either. Ok, enough said.

{Enjoy}

Truly amazed

Yesterday I was truly touched. I am so amazed by the tremendous outpouring of love and support by people in the church and people in the community that my brother and sister-in-law live in. As most of you know, my sweet sister-in-law has been battling breast cancer. She is doing very well and now has finished both chemo and radiation. Last night, her community threw a silent auction to benefit her and her family to help pay for the rising costs of medical bills, etc. Here are some pictures from that event:

It was truly a sight to behold. I was glad that I could be there and be a small part of it all. I had the priviledge of being on child duty so my bro and sis-in-law could partake in the event. It was fun chillin' with my 3 little studs. Mostly I was chasing Jake in and out of the men's bathroom. Everytime he goes in the bathroom he has to lift the toilet seat and pull up his shirt like he is going to the bathroom. What a cute kid he is! Luke and Ty spent the night running around and screaming with the other kids. Needless to say, we were all sweaty as the night progressed. Then I took the kids home and put them to bed. I didn't see a whole lot of the event, but what I did see was amazing! I know Curt and Char really appreciate the love that everyone has shown to them, and I certainly do too.

{Amazing}

A Fantastic Story!

My story is really not fantastic. In fact, it is borderline pure stupid. However, I had to talk it up to get you excited to read my blog! So here goes:

I have never claimed to be much of a cook. If I don't follow a recipe, things don't usually work out for me. And even sometimes when I use a recipe things don't work out for me. I do own a barbeque, but never use it cause I don't know how. I am a big fan of the George Forman grill cause it does all the work for me and even tells me when my food is ready. I do really well heating things up in the microwave, but using the stove is a rarity. So Tuesday night I was on the brink of starvation. I had my dr appt after work and usually try not to eat much during the day when I am going to the dr (want to lose as much weight as I can...). I knew I had nothing ready to eat when I got home, so I opened the freezer and saw some hamburger patties. I thought to myself, "Self? Doesn't a hamburger sound pretty good right now?" To which I replied, "Yes, that certainly does. Maybe I will try to pan fry a hamburger like my mom always does since I don't know how to use my barbeque." And thus the drama begins...

On this particular day I was intent on finishing a book I like to call "Breaking Dawn." I was a bit enthralled in the book ending and kind of forgot that I was cooking. I thought it smelled a little smoky, but didn't really think anything of it...until I decided I should check my hamburger. Yeah, it was a little bit well done on the edges, but still not completely cooked. It wasn't until I walked into the family room that I realized just how much smoke was filling my house! I hurried and opened the windows, letting some torturous heat in and the smoke out. The fact that my fire alarm did not go off is a miracle in and of itself. Here is a pic of my smoke filled kitchen:

You can't really see it well, but there was a wall of smoke throughout. And this is a pic of the stove top. I was trying to get the smoke rising from the pan, but instead it just looks like a picture of a small animal sacrifice inside a cute pink frying pan:
After the smoke cleared, I made my hamburgers:

Looks good right? Well, it really wasn't. This is my face while I ate:

Mmmmm....delicious! Since it was so good, I fed the rest of it to my garbage can:
I have this saying in my kitchen just so visitors don't get scared (in case you can't read it, it says: Countless number of people have eaten in this kitchen and gone on to lead normal lives):
Until that day, I have never had such a disastrous meal. And I would like to think that sign is true... Although my friend Amy did eat in my kitchen once, and now she has some stomach problems...

{Hmmm....}

What the Facebook?

Ok, so I have gotten several friend requests and such from Facebook lately. I signed up for an account around the time I started blogging just so I could see my brother's profile. I have not looked at it again until yesterday. I DON'T GET IT! Can someone please explain it to me??

I really hate that I want to get into it. I don't need another thing to get addicted to. It's bad enough that I blog when I am working!! The biggest draw back for me is that I don't have internet at my house since I am so freaking poor. So all Facebooking would have to be done at my parent's house and I usually only go there about once a week.

So please, explain to me why I should start using Facebook. But more importantly, what I so great about it???

Happiness

Today I am feeling happy. I am not sure exactly why. It’s not like I had a great dream last night or that I have a date lined up (in fact, I have absolutely zero prospects)…I am just happy today. And it’s a good feeling, ‘cause I haven’t felt this way in a while. So in honor of my happiness I have compiled a list of things that make me happy:

The number I saw on my scale today (it’s been a long time since I’ve seen a number that low)! Down 107 and counting!!!
Pants that are too big and require a belt, that just months ago were too tight to button
Flip flops
Backstreet Boys
Finishing a good book (like Breaking Dawn…finished last night)
Latin Impact class at LA Fitness
Comments on my bloggity blog
Beach decorations
Holiday decorating (especially love Oct-Dec)
Saturday trips to Florence
The smell of clean laundry
Holidays in general (I love them all and like making a big deal of them all)
Race for the Cure items (cause they are pink)
Generous donations by people who care (more on that later…)
Getting to eat REAL food in about 14 days!!!
Friends in UT, AZ and FL
Men
Getting emails that read, “Britney Spears confesses she is the father of Anna Nicole Smith’s baby.”
Rain and/or lightning storms
Having your doctor tell you that you don’t look like you weigh as much as you do
Getting a passport (which means a cruise is in my very near future)
Getting flowers (hint, hint…just kidding! You need a man to get those, right?)
A good hair day
Smiles from strangers
Paid holidays and PTO
My bed
My house when it is clean…and stays that way for more than a few hours
Getting mail (that is not a bill or junk mail)
Getting an email (that is not a forward or spam)
Pink anything and everything

And the list could go on and on. Sorry, I didn’t realize how long this list was until now. Are you still with me? Good! Well, I guess I will stop now. I need to get back to my responsibilities. Besides, I have a fantastic story to tell you about an experience I had last night, but it requires pictures and I haven’t been able to download them yet. Hopefully tomorrow…

{Happy thoughts}

Latest happenings

Man I am a slacker this week. I feel like I have so much to say, but really I don't. I know my blogs have been super boring lately, and this one probably won't be much better. But here goes:

It has kind of been a historic week if you will. Ok, not really, but it was 2 years ago on August 14th that I made the scariest decision of my life thus far. I bought a house! The picture is very scary, but this is me in front of my house that day:

I was so excited when I got the keys that I brought an air mattress and slept there all by myself that first night. My parents worried I would be too scared...and honestly, it was a little strange. But I loved it and I still love it now! The house is a dream come true! My parents and I took 3 days to paint the entire house as the previous owner was a bit eccentric when it came to paint. He wasn't much of a painter either. There was paint all over the ceiling and the baseboards, and every wall was a different shade of rust! Yuck! But now it has my personal touches to it and I think it looks great. One day, when my house is clean, I will take some more updated pictures and give you a tour of my place...

My biggest concern with buying a house was the fact that I was now stuck in AZ. If I wanted to move back to UT I would have to sell my house first. I must admit, I am glad that my mom sort of forced me to move out and and forced me to buy a house (rather than rent an apartment) because I am totally loving where I am right now. Yes, Arizona is freaking hot for 6 months of the year, but for the other 6 months it is pure heaven. But most of all, I love this time of year as it is monsoon season:

Nightly thunderstorms, lightning storms and occassionally some rain. I love rain! I think the reason why I love monsoon season so much is because it reminds me of Nauvoo. I used to love the lightning storms that happened quite frequently. My mom and I would sit on the back porch of the double wide (yes, we lived in a double wide...but hey, it was Nauvoo) and talk about life while watching the lightning. Trigger (bless him) would sit out there with us too. Good times indeed.

In my last post I mentioned that I had been reading this super boring book and it had taken me almost 2 months to finish. I forced myself to read the rest of the book last Sunday and finally took it back to the library today. Well, I finished just at the right time, cause my friend at work let me borrow this this week:

I LOVE IT!!! Well, actually it is a little bit different, but I am sure it will get better. I just started reading the book on Friday and I am on page 200 right now. It's amazing how much more I like to read when I actually like what I am reading. Is anyone else excited for 12.12.08 for the movie to come out?? Can't wait! You want to know the best thing ever? My mom just started reading the series last week and now she is obsessed! Funny!

And finally, I am still in love with Michael Phelps. Anyone see the race last night where he won his 7th gold by 1/100 of a second?! Say it with me, "Amazing!" The reaction of his mother was classic! Can't wait to see team USA win gold in the relay tonight. I am proud to be an American...

{Enjoy the weekend!}

Weekend Update with Alayna

I wish I could come up with some sort of funny news skit like they do on Saturday Night Live, but alas, today I lack creativity and brain power…

Regardless, my weekend was pretty good. Work on Friday really sucked rocks! It was INSANE!!! I was this close to jumping off the roof! Needless to say, I was very much looking forward to 5:00. I never really have plans on Friday night, and this weekend was no different. However, after the week I had had, I needed a day just to relax and vegetate. And that I did. It was HEAVENLY!!!

Saturday morning I slept in {joyful}. Then it was into the car for a 30 minute trip to go visit my friend who is now bunking with other immigration friends. I have to admit I was a bit saddened because he got moved to a new location on Thursday. His previous residence only allowed visitors on Saturday and Sunday (perfect), but you could actually see the person face-to-face and touch them. I was so excited to give him a big hug! But my hopes were crushed when he moved to the new facility. You can only talk via telephone and through a computer screen, but they do have visitation everyday. Oh well! It was still good to see him, and I think, more than ever, he just needs to see a familiar face. And that’s what I am there for…

I drove back home and kind of shut myself in my room cause my roomie works nights and was sleeping…didn’t want to be too loud. And this is what I discovered:

I had so much fun watching the Olympics! I especially enjoyed watching the swimming competitions. But, at the same time I was feeling a little too cooped up in my room, so it was off to my parents’ to do a little swimming of my own. Actually, it was just a really nice day and I wanted to take advantage of it. Anyday that the heat is bearable is a good day. I tried to do a little tanning and had fun all by myself (my parents were both out of town). Then I hung out with my pal Janalee, ate some Chili’s and then played the Wii. Good times!

Sunday was interesting to say the least. Last week my ward split. I am now in a singles branch with about 70 members. So it was our first week meeting as our new branch. It was tiny, and it was an experience! I am so freaked out for some reason because the thought of having 16 church callings and talking in church every other week just doesn’t sound that fun. Yet, at the same time, I am excited because there are apparently 300 singles who live in our area that are either non-members or inactive, so it presents lots of missionary opportunities. This will definitely be a new experience for me.

Then after church it was time for the Olympics again. I am just enthralled with these Olympic games for some reason. I watched some gymnastics and then took a break to finish reading this book I have been trying to read for about 2 months. Yeah, I’m not much of a reader. After gymnastics they switched back to swimming, and it was so exciting. I have a new love:

Michael Phelps is amazing! Even if he does have big ears and a mouth shoved full of teeth, he intrigues me. I don’t know if anyone else saw this, but the men’s 4x100 relay final was awesome!!! Go team USA! I was so proud! I felt bad cause my roomie was in bed and I was just screaming (as quietly as I could) in my room. It was so exciting!!

Ok, this post is insanely long…so I will end it here.

{Peace out...yo}

What the crap?

My blog is all sorts of messed up! I know Amy noticed, but I don't know if anyone else did...but my last post seems to have mysteriously disappeared. It all happened when I tried to click on the comments under that post and I got some horrific blank screen with an error code on it. I tried contacting the help support folk, but no one has gotten back to me. Oh well. I show that my missing post is now a draft with a scheduled posting date of last Monday, and I can't repost it either. What the crap?? Any ideas from someone more computer savvy than me?

Guess what?

I have a few items of great news to share:

1. My friend has been released from jail because all of his charges were dropped! I can’t even begin to tell you what a relief that is! PRAYER AND FASTING REALLY WORK!! However, he is now in the custody of Immigration, and will most likely be shipped out of this country soon. Not really that sad…it’s a good thing!

2. I hit my 100lb weight loss mark! Actually I hit it on Sunday, but just haven’t said anything until now. My family thinks that I should not be declaring my weight loss for the world to see (they think it will turn away a potential suitor). However, I hope my future husband will love me no matter how huge I used to be. He’ll eventually find out I was a big fatty when he asks to see pictures from my childhood anyway… I hope that showing my weight loss will prove to a man that I am a determined and motivated woman who can do whatever she puts her mind to. Personally, I think I’m quite a catch!

3. I just saved a bunch of money on my car insurance by switching to Geiko. Ok, so I really didn’t…but I just couldn’t resist that one!

{Happy Tuesday}

Family Matters

So, I completely got caught up in the moment of my most recent trials and tribulations that I forgot to post about the good times with my family a couple of weeks ago. My brother Matt, his wife and kids came down from Utah to visit us Arizonans. We had a lot of fun just hanging out at my parents' house, but also spent the last weekend at our cabin. It was a good time had by all (I think). We did take some family pictures that I would like to post for your viewing pleasure:

Aren't we cute?? Blogging world, meet my family. I love them! Thanks Matt and Nat (and kids) for making the long drive to AZ to hang out with me! Spending time with the family is priceless...

Hmmm...

Just in case you were wondering, court was cancelled on Thursday and rescheduled for Monday. And as of today, I still have not received a phone call from my friend. Because of that, Friday morning I was feeling a little down. It didn't help that I saw this on the way to work either:That kind of started the day off weird, and it only was more weird as the day went on. I felt such anxiety all day (and maybe it was because there were only 2 of us working and we were under a lot of pressure to get show orders underway). I could not wait for the day to be over, but at the same time didn't know why because I had nothing to do after work. I am not the most outgoing socialite, and somedays I just really like to be alone. Friday was one of those days. But all the time that I was alone I was feeling so sorry for myself, so mad that I was doing this to myself. Why am I pushing everyone away? This is a time when I really need someone around, someone to talk to. Needless to say, this is how I looked all night:

It's pretty sad when your source of entertainment is taking pictures of yourself looking sad (and watching Dateline). Oh well!

So in order to ease my anxiety, I made an early morning trip to Phoenix to visit my friend in stripes. He claims he tried to call, but also said he can't just call anytime he wants. I guess I understand...

After my jail visit, I decided to hang with my momma cause my dad is at the cabin AGAIN this weekend doing some work. I have to mention that my parents have been rocks for me this week. They came to my house on Tuesday night to play games with me and keep me company while I waited by the phone for that call that never came. And today my dear sweet mother took me shopping, took me to lunch, and made us appointments for this:

How cute is that? And, of course, the ladies talked us into an eyebrow wax. Here are my before (from last night) and after. Pardon the redness and scared looking face:

Yep, I pretty much have nothing left! But my eyebrows were a little out of control. The whole time she was ripping out my eyebrows the lady just kept saying, "You have such a beautiful face. We just need to do something about those eyebrows!" Thanks!

So there you have it. My last few days in a nutshell. Thanks mom for a great day of fun {a little bit of pain} and relaxation. You are the best!

{Hope you have a GREAT weekend!!}