A Fantastic Story!

My story is really not fantastic. In fact, it is borderline pure stupid. However, I had to talk it up to get you excited to read my blog! So here goes:

I have never claimed to be much of a cook. If I don't follow a recipe, things don't usually work out for me. And even sometimes when I use a recipe things don't work out for me. I do own a barbeque, but never use it cause I don't know how. I am a big fan of the George Forman grill cause it does all the work for me and even tells me when my food is ready. I do really well heating things up in the microwave, but using the stove is a rarity. So Tuesday night I was on the brink of starvation. I had my dr appt after work and usually try not to eat much during the day when I am going to the dr (want to lose as much weight as I can...). I knew I had nothing ready to eat when I got home, so I opened the freezer and saw some hamburger patties. I thought to myself, "Self? Doesn't a hamburger sound pretty good right now?" To which I replied, "Yes, that certainly does. Maybe I will try to pan fry a hamburger like my mom always does since I don't know how to use my barbeque." And thus the drama begins...

On this particular day I was intent on finishing a book I like to call "Breaking Dawn." I was a bit enthralled in the book ending and kind of forgot that I was cooking. I thought it smelled a little smoky, but didn't really think anything of it...until I decided I should check my hamburger. Yeah, it was a little bit well done on the edges, but still not completely cooked. It wasn't until I walked into the family room that I realized just how much smoke was filling my house! I hurried and opened the windows, letting some torturous heat in and the smoke out. The fact that my fire alarm did not go off is a miracle in and of itself. Here is a pic of my smoke filled kitchen:

You can't really see it well, but there was a wall of smoke throughout. And this is a pic of the stove top. I was trying to get the smoke rising from the pan, but instead it just looks like a picture of a small animal sacrifice inside a cute pink frying pan:
After the smoke cleared, I made my hamburgers:

Looks good right? Well, it really wasn't. This is my face while I ate:

Mmmmm....delicious! Since it was so good, I fed the rest of it to my garbage can:
I have this saying in my kitchen just so visitors don't get scared (in case you can't read it, it says: Countless number of people have eaten in this kitchen and gone on to lead normal lives):
Until that day, I have never had such a disastrous meal. And I would like to think that sign is true... Although my friend Amy did eat in my kitchen once, and now she has some stomach problems...

{Hmmm....}